Lochside
Family Homes and Cottages => McIntyre/Manning Cottage => Willas bedrom => Topic started by: Corrie McIntyre on May 20, 2018, 08:22:38 pm
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"Or maybe the two of you would be more acquainted with my paddle than you are at this point," I shoot back at my daughter lightly.
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*Laughs when Momma says she's quite able to keep watch on all of us*
"Somehow Momma, i don't doubt that for a second! And Momma, if Iona and i had grown up together, i don't think you'd just have grey hair, i think you'd have been pulling it out!"
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"If you and Iona had grown up together I think I might have a few more greys than I have now," I chuckle out.
She says that my attention being divided has some possibilities and I raise an eyebrow. "Uh huh. You better not," I caution lightly. "Because then you'd be finding out exactly how capable I am of still keeping an eye on all of you!"
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*Nods at Momma when she asks it what she said makes sense.*
"yeah, that makes sense, i guess i hadn't thought of it that way before. I can't imagine what it would have been like growing up with them - or well, i guess i'd have been growing up mainly with Iona!"
*Grins at Momma*
"You know, there is one advantage to there being so much chaos in the house these days.......your attention being divided could have some possibilities....not that i'd take advantage, of course......"
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"Well, I hope you'll never stop needing me," I answer my daughter quietly, with a small smile. "But as you grow up, the way you need me is going to change and that's okay. Just never forget, Willa, that I will always be here for you."
My daughter asks if I've ever wanted more children of my own and I think for a minute. "Well," I begin, "I think it would have been nice for you to grow up with a sibling or two, and I would have loved to watch you all play together. But Iona, Toni, and Kiki are my children just as much as you are. I don't think the way they came to us makes them any less mine, or any less your siblings. Does that make sense?"
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*nods thoughtfully when Momma says she has enough love for all of us*
"I don't think ill ever stop needing you momma. Momma, did you ever wish that you had more kids of your own?"
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As I continue to stroke my daughter's hair, I think about what she's saying. "Well, I guess that's true," I answer with a small laugh about Toni's cooking abilities. "But you know, that doesn't mean that you should need me less," I point out. "I do have enough love for all of you."
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*Smiles as Momma plays with my hair and thinks about her question*
"Well, i'd say kikis too little to really understand everything, and well, Iona's a teenager and i think she's fairly used to being kinda independant anyway. i think toni kinda got used to looking out for herself too with her dad but shes not really old enough for that yet - look what happened when she tried to cook!"
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I wait patiently as my daughter gathers her thoughts. When she starts to speak I can't help but to be amazed at Willa's maturity.
She eventually comes to sit next to me and I place my arm lightly around her shoulders. "Well, I have to say, I am impressed with your maturity." Letting that sink in for a few moments, I gently fiddle with her hair.
"Why do you think Toni, especially?"
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*Glances out the window, not to avoid mommas question but to gather my thoughts, before looking back at her*
"Honestly Momma? Sometimes i wish things could go back to how they were before. I liked our life, my school, my friends. But i like it here too. I like that we have a barn for the horses, and were not surrounded by other houses and people. i Dont always like the chaos that comes with having three others in the house - particularly toni! but.....i do like having another teen in the house sometimes! And i like it when i wake in the morning to find that kikis crawled into bed with me during the night! i guess even tonis ok - when shes sleeping! I do miss having you to myself momma, but i cant imagine them not being around now. They need you momma, at least as much as i do. toni, especially, i think."
*Stands up and goes to sit next to you on the bed, laying my head against your shoulder*
"I can't imagine losing you. Theyve already had to deal with that twice. How can i grudge them a share of you?"
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"Okay, Baby," I answer when my daughter tells me that she would like to do both. And then I change topics, slightly. "Honey, now that you've had a little time to get used to everything, how are you feeling about the girls being here?"
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*smiles at Momma when she says we can do the beach as a family thing then do our own thing another time*
"i'd like that momma"
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Listening to what my daughter says I answer, "well, I can see your point. But you seem like you could use some time, just you and I," I point out. "So, what if we plan a beach day for all of us and then you and I can do something else, just the two of us?"
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"Can we? really?" *Frowns a little* "But we've never been to the beach here Momma, any of us! It wouldn't be fair to go without the girls, at least the first time!"
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Listening to my daughter I smile and reach over to put my hand on her knee.
"Would you like to go do that this weekend, baby? Just you and me?"
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*Smiles at momma on hearing her nickname for me*
"Morning Momma! i was just looking at the sunshine and thinking bout when i was little and we'd pack a picnic, toss it into the back of the car and just drive to the beach and spend the day there, not getting home till it was dark, trailing half the beach back with us! then curling up of the sofa with hot chocolate telling stories! i loved those days!"
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Hearing Willa tell me to come in I go inside her room and go to sit on her bed, facing where she is on the window seat.
"Hey, Wild Thing," I greet her. Seeing the look on her face that tells me I've just gotten her out of a daze I ask, "what have you been thinking about just now?"
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*Glancing round from the windowseat where i had been curled up, an open book in my lap showing the intention to be reading but in reality i had been sat simply staring out the window for the last half hour lost in my thoughts, i blink a couple times then call out for momma to come in*
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I had known that Willa was struggling a little with the changes in the family dynamic. Going from being the only child to having to share attention with three other kids full-time had to be tough. She and I had talked about it a little bit but something just tells me that she's in need of some one on one time right now.
Knocking on her door I peek in. "Willa? It's Momma. May I come in?"